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"If we survive this, drinks are on whoever I can charm into buying them for us!"

Tier 3 Mage (Learned)

Thaddeus J. Smithington-Smythe is a human Spellsword of Mureth's Court of Coins.


It's said among the Spellswords and the Murethi upper crust alike that Thaddeus J. Smithington-Smythe, Esq. ("the J doesn't actually stand for anything, but damned if it doesn't make me sound more respectable!") can persuade any man from his position, or any woman from her dress. Judging by the number of wives he's had (at least five, at last count - that people know of), the latter seems true enough. He's also been instrumental in hammering out more than a few lucrative trade deals during his time in the Court of Coins - deals that make one think he could have made a superb snake-oil salesman had "legitimate" enterprise not snapped him up first. Womaniser, cad, scoundrel (crook? quite possibly) and all-around rapscallion, Thaddeus's debonair nature and disarming flattery have nonetheless kept him largely out of trouble - so far, anyway.

Born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a natural aptitude for sorcery (though not to the degree of a Conduit), Thaddeus was headhunted for the Spellswords at a young age, and quickly gravitated to the Court of Coins. He became infamous for his colourful turns of phrase, his numerous torrid affairs with numerous beautiful women, and his clever (and liberal) use of charm magic to extricate himself from sticky situations (largely relating to the aforementioned torrid affairs).

Personality Traits

Neutral. Thaddeus is, first and foremost, a patriot - loyal to Mureth to a fault. He upholds Murethi law (well, usually, probably), but also knows that laws must occasionally be bent in the service of a greater goal.

He is also a shameless flirt and smooth-talker, and is known for a variety of colourful oaths, largely revolving around the gods, the Narga and their respective anatomies.


Thaddeus does not adhere to the faith of any particular god, preferring to follow his own path in life - however, he does tip his hat to Rilien the Trickster on occasion, as one rascal to another.

In the Guardian Vale


Thaddeus arrived in the Vale as an Orcish army massed to the south, in the hopes of securing a trade agreement with the trade master of Tavern Town. He seemed surprised to recognise Jo'v, the Taverner, and engaged in several furtive conversations with his fellow Murethi before seeming to come to an accord. At Jo'v's request, Thaddeus helped the Camp of Light secure a relic from the forces of Shadow, saying simply that if Mureth was to have a trade agreement with Guardian Vale, then trade must continue to flow through Guardian Vale.

As the three moons came into conjunction, Thaddeus heard of a Spellsword's blade that had been stolen by Mortimus, of the 37th Regiment of Foot, and vowed to get it back. After a day of wheeling, dealing and skulduggery that saw him charm his way into acquiring (and subsequently losing) two relics, Thaddeus and Mortimus came to an agreement that Mortimus would return the sword in exchange for a replacement.

Not long afterwards, the shambler curse struck the Vale, turning many of its defenders into mindless husks bent on devouring the flesh of the living. Thaddeus fought bravely and held out for quite a while, but was eventually felled and turned as a result of the 37th Regiment of Foot's treachery. He later recovered, but his mission to ensure trade keeps flowing through the Vale may not.

Hero of the Weft

Soon after the shambler curse was lifted, the wild magic flowing through the Vale reached its peak and the elementari went off the rails. Thaddeus, being himself a mage, was caught up in the tumultuous events, but managed to find the time to prank Edward D'eath with a bespelled letter. At the end of the day, he was named a "hero of the Weft", which has done little to deflate his ego.

Thaddeus took part in the impromptu tournament when Trollball arrived in the Weft, though had little luck in either of the mage duels on offer, and was soon recalled to Mureth - though he anticipated a swift return.

It took a month or two, during which time Thaddeus (claimed to have) helped fend off an attack on Mureth by dark elf slavers, but he returned to the Vale sporting a new look (and a mysterious new tattoo) and entirely failed to stop the Camp of Shadow performing a ritual that destroyed the Weft stone.

When Jo'v was abducted by a band of orcish raiders, Thaddeus and Kaiz went out to face them, and (with the help of the Vale's defenders) gave them a sound thrashing. He aided with efforts to determine their employer and the whereabouts of the Taverner, despite the growing baneful influence of the vortex that was draining the magic from him and the other sorcerers of Guardian Vale. After a brief (but flamboyant) honour duel with Edward D'eath, Thaddeus helped the Kraken enact a ritual that transformed one of their members' hand into a dragon, and largely kept out of the fighting for the remainder of the day, judging that his limbs were of far more value attached to him than separate.

Secrets and Shenanigans

Thaddeus returned to the field of battle as an infernal tide brought true demons of Gorgos charging into the Guardian Vale - but he seemed less interested in fighting them off than in spreading rumours and discord among the defenders. In truth, he had been possessed by a lesser demon of Whalash, who used his form to peddle lies and mistrust before finally being captured and driven out by Avner, in conjunction with the Honest Vale Trading Company.

On the first anniversary of the 37th's arrival in the Vale, Thaddeus found himself aiding Bronwyn in the recovery of missing pages from her songbook, which involved no small amount of riddles and odd requests. With that task completed, he determined to investigate just who stole the pages in the first place, but all his leads came up empty - and when he was robbed near the end of the day, he was intensely vexed at the loss of an entire afternoon's work.

As ghosts drifted through the Vale, Thaddeus sought ways to return them to their rest - but was somewhat derailed in his quest by the 37th, who demanded to know if he'd cursed them to be afraid of firearms (and cursed Kaiz into answering only to "Slappy Tinklebottom". He cheerfully admitted it, adding it was retaliation for their firing-squad during the cursed-shambler incident, and lifted his spell, saying he'd had his fun.

Playing it Safe

After a long break from adventuring, Thaddeus found himself accompanying a large host of adventurers on an expedition to the Inner Weft serving three mysterious patrons. Not trusting a single one of these patrons or their envoys, he set about spying and gathering information to relay to Jo'v on just what the sard they were all playing at. He gradually became more and more paranoid as secrets came to light - the presence of ancient dragon bones beneath the Yenrady fort everyone was fighting over; Countess Delavaen's Ruinous curse; envoy Lithia's draconic scales - and ended up siding with nobody at all, instead watching from a distance as the final battle unfolded. When Delavaen's forces won, Thaddeus slipped in and assisted with the destruction of the dragon bones, deeming the presence of an undead draconic monstrosity to probably be "inimical to his mission parameters". Nonetheless, he returned to the Vale having made a small fortune in geld from various wheelings, dealings and substantial discoveries, and began to ponder how he could best put it to use.

Returning from the expedition, Thaddeus decided not to concern himself with the wandering band of Vylkland raiders, instead getting up to his trademark brand of mischief - convincing Blue of the Pixie Press that he had bestowed upon him the power to blast people by pointing at them. His prank grew wildly out of hand with Edward D'eath's involvement, resulting in Blue believing he had killed Jo'v - much to Thaddeus and Edward's amusement.

Thaddeus later helped Blue (or "Blorf the Dwarf") out when Torok, an old friend of Jo'v's, came searching for the Taverner's "killer". He also took note of how many people held their swords by the blades, and began a long and frustrating crusade to promote good sword safety.

The Taverner threw another tournament, complete with Trollball, to celebrate his return from the "grave" - but aside from a couple of bets, Thaddeus was largely uninterested, focusing instead on investigating the mysterious murder of a young, pale-haired elf woman by an assailant or assailants unknown. His suspicion eventually fell upon the servants of Chiropt, though with no solid proof either way.

When a strange curse brought a trio of "reverse centaurs" to the Vale, Thaddeus was driven to distraction (and numerous vile horse puns) trying to keep them in line. He was also distracted by the presence of a strangely-dressed bard, an associate of Chiropt, who unfortunately exploded before Thaddeus could get any useful information out of him.

Almost a year after the cursed shambler fiasco, a plague demon of Phlemortis brought a fresh outbreak of zombies to the Vale, and Thaddeus was determined not to suffer a repeat of the previous debacle. He assisted the Camp of Light and the 37th in their efforts to get rid of the demon, though ultimately unsuccessfully; still, the zombies were at the very least kept to an acceptable minimum this time.

Known Associates

Avner of Lindenvale - Thaddeus has teamed up with the Arkhosian mage to aid him in his endeavours to lay his hands on magical relics.

Blue - Thaddeus seems to have taken pity on the hapless pixie reporter, and was seen on the Weftward expedition in 648 MR giving him lessons in "how not to be a pillock" (to varying degrees of success).

Edward D'eath - Thaddeus has what looks to be a turbulent relationship with the Krakiid assassin, the two alternately bickering with or aiding one another.

Jo'v - Thaddeus seems to have a history with the Taverner, and refers to him as "Silver". Few people are aware of exactly what that history is, and those who are do not seem inclined to tell.

Sabi - Thaddeus accompanied the fireworks spirit when she first came to the Vale, obtaining her assistance with various matters.